I am not one for email forwards or posting random pics of people I don't know on Facebook , but when the above picture caught my eye I knew it was perfect for a post I have been wanting to do. The caption in the photo really says it all but I want to elaborate on this because it is not about having a baby or not, it is about viewing your body with
a different perspective. This is a fitness blog (if you haven't caught on to that I am not sure how you've missed it) and though our focus is being healthy and strong this tends to go hand in hand with body image.
I have done a post and have had
a guest post discuss this subject and now I want to address it from another angle because improper body image is a plague in this modern world particularly affecting women of every age, size and color. And since this blog's target audience is mother's I am going to stick with the above example, not to alienate any of my followers who have not had children or are men but because pregnancy is something I am familiar with and can easily use as an example.
For those of us who have had babies looking into the mirror postpartum can be depressing and sometimes frightening. Many of us see nothing but flaws, we get so obsessed with getting back to pre-pregnancy weight or better, we become like horses with blinders on and won't cut ourselves some slack until the desired goal weight is reached. I was like this after all of my children, and then when I would finally fit back into those jeans, I found I was still unhappy with my body because of the deep canyon like stretch marks and saggy skin. It wasn't until a few years ago that my perspective changed. My sister was pregnant and whether it was good fortune, great genes (which I obviously missed out on) or her unwavering commitment to a coco buttered belly she did not receive one stretch mark, not a one! Her belly was gorgeous and I was envious! One day while speaking to her and again reiterating how lucky she was not to have any stretch marks she brought up an interesting comment made to her regarding her lack of marks. When my sister revealed to some extended family members she didn't have stretch marks her sister-in-law exclaimed "how on earth do you validate that baby is yours, you have no battle wounds to prove it!" Her sister-in-law was being humorous but, when my sister told me this story something in me instantly changed. I thought, she's right! Stretch marks are like battle wounds, I am a warrior and the best kind of warrior. I earned every stripe, canyon, and flap from doing something so amazing and magnificent; creating, carrying and giving birth to a human being. There are few greater causes for allowing such damage to happen to your body than providing a healthy and safe environment for a growing baby. All the aches and pains, all the vomiting, the sleeplessness, the discomfort and the stress of carrying a baby was worth it, each and every time. And instead of viewing the after math left behind as collateral damage, I now view it differently. Those stretch marks and areas of my body which just refuse to bounce back serve as sweet reminders of those special times in my life where I was selfless, where someone else always came first, when I was doing something great and when I was experiencing a bond which runs deeper than human comprehension and I was a part of an absolute miracle! I still have those tender moments of triumph today in other forms and I am in no way implying that having a baby is the only way for women to do something wonderful, great or selfless, this is not the case. What I am saying is I began to see things with a different perspective and when I did I became proud of my body, battle wounds and all.
My husband took this picture before I gave birth to our last child, our sweet little Ruby. At the time when he said "show your belly" I did it reluctantly and then commented on how awful I looked and that no one was to EVER see this picture. Now I am posting the picture for the world to see because I am proud I carried my sweet little girl for nine long and painful months (my c-section scar had reached it's absolute max with being stretched out 4 times and it was a daily source of discomfort) talk about a battle.
I used to look at this picture and see the stretch marks and the chubby cheeks and the list could go on, now I see beauty, a unique beauty of a mother who is expecting. I do not post this picture to say "look how radiant I am", if you think that you are missing the point. I am showing the growth and change that comes from gaining a healthy sense of perspective. I went from being ashamed of this picture to realizing that there is nothing gross or repulsive about it, in fact it is quite the opposite.
Fast forward to last year. Though I learned my lesson about my tummy I still had a lot of things to learn about being comfortable in my own skin. I was complaining to my mother about my breasts, or lack their of, and how I would just like them to be back to how they were before I had kids. I mean come on, was that really too much to ask? While looking through some family photo's we came across a picture of my aunt in a bathing suit at age 50+. I remarked at how awesome her boobs looked and how amazed I was she was able to have such great assets when she was almost 30 years my senior! I will never forget what my mother said next. "Brianna you have been blessed to bear and nurse 5 healthy babies, your aunt was never able to. Sure her breasts look great but I know she would have traded that for the opportunity to have a child." My mother's words stopped me in my tracks and I again received a much needed moment of enlightenment as well as a dose of humility. Too many times we as women look longingly at others and their bodies and think "if only" and fail to keep the right perspective. We all have our trials, struggles and losses and comparison is never equal nor even logical when you consider how unique each of us are in our own beautiful ways.
As I said in the beginning, this post it is not about those of us who have had a baby and those who have not, I am merely using this scenario as an example that perspective not only is important to have but, it can change the way you view your body. Being satisfied with your body does not mean everything is perfect, it means you've decide to look beyond it's imperfections and maintain a healthy perspective. So next time you find yourself comparing your assets to another, whether it be physical or even temporal, remind yourself that we are all unique individuals for a purpose and therefore we have unique experiences and that is part of the beauty of life!
And to all you ladies out their with the postpartum stretch marks my advice to you is to just rock'em. Own it, love it and be proud of them. You are a warrior and those marks have meaning that go further than skin deep!
